Whirlwinds

Whoa free time where did you go? I feel like the last two weeks for one reason or another I've had very little contact with the outside world. Throw in prepping for potential bed rest, with the plans to have almost everything done by the end of July and my brain is on overload. Gender reveal, two baby showers and hopefully a babymoon (we're thinking San Antonio, anyone who wants to throw out ideas would be repaid in baby love this fall) to all happen in the next four months. Thankfully this weekend thing slow down a bit and we head to Dallas to visit family and pick up some pieces of the nursery. I'm so excited, because I could seriously use a break.

I made two hikes into downtown Houston this week. Monday morning I raced to my obgyn after a very light spotting care, everyone is okay and looking awesome. I was so thankful they were able to squeeze me in and ease my fears.
My second trip (today) I met Dr. Adam the second doctor that will be assisting in our care during this pregnancy. She talks really fast, has a bit of an accent and man does she know what she's doing. I was very overwhelmed and next time I see her I intend to take someone with me as an extra brain to soak up what she says. I had my first actually belly ultrasound, I got a little emotional. They've all been trans-vaginal up until this point, hard to believe my babies are already big enough for a belly screening. This appointment came with lots of information. I've been now fair warned that due to my retroverted uterus and the location of my babies there will come a point in the not so distant future where I am unable to pee and they will have to drain my badder. This does not sound like fun and apparently it's going to hurt. But better me than them I say. Oh the things we do for our children lol. I've also been finally given a reason for my spotting. Award for pregnancy complications goes to once again the awesome retroverted uterus, which is to blame for my current placenta previa. Currently I have one placenta and part of a another on my cerxix causing the unsettling spotting. The hope is that as my uterus grows they will slowly move off of it. Only time will tell. Luckily the chances of placenta separation are not high. I can not stress enough how very thankful all the complications are mommy and not babies I'll take it all for them. Oh and the last fun bit of information, I've been instructed to gain 20 pounds in the next 10 weeks holy wow! "A meal without protein is a meal wasted" or so I'm told.

After a small hand full spotting episodes, these new found minor complications and one early hcg level scare I can tell you my Pumpkins are strong and stubborn. Thank God. But regardless having lost Bump, therefor loosing the innocence of pregnancy, has left me feeling a little helpless. Beautiful, happy, excited, terrified and helpless. I know it sounds like I've developed a negative attitude but let me explain. As a parent, even a parent to a child in the womb you want to do everything you can to protect your children. In a situation like pregnancy where you can not physically pick them up and remove them from a scary situation it's hard. All you can do is, follow your doctors guidelines, "not stress",  and believe that a higher power (in my case I believe that's God) is at work keeping your child(ren) safe and at the end of this you will hold your baby/babies. As many times as I've been reassured by numerous doctors I will hold these babies, they're beautiful, healthy and are here for the long haul it still makes me sad that no matter what I do their fate is not in my hands. That my friends is the reality of pregnancy after loss. Blah okay that was depressing, but I can't help anyone if I'm not real.

Thankfully to help ease those fears even a little bit we've been connected with an amazing team of doctors whose main goal is to get these babies here and healthy. In three weeks they have their NT scan with the specialist and the following week is our routine obgyn appointment. Hopefully from there we're able to get a good bi-monthly schedule going until we increase the ob appointments. I'm finally starting to feel at peace there's nothing I like hearing more from the doctors than "perfect babies and perfect heart beats. I am a lucky lucky mommy.

And of course, I'm almost 10 now but here's my week 9 chalk board from earlier this week :)

Until next time!

Momma D
Xoxo