Complicated order

My pregnancy didn't start out easy, it's been far from a cake walk. In the early weeks we were plagued by low rising hcg levels that had me terrifed, numerous bleeding spells and double placenta previa. There was a dark point in the begining where I was convinced we would never make it this far. I walked into that first ultrasound prepared for the worst. And there they were not one but two beautiful babies. And here we are now still going strong, complicated but strong. I could tell you all day long how hard it is when your pregnancy doesn't go perfect, about the sleepless worried nights and the anxiety. But people may start to view me as a pessimist and thats not what I'm here to write about. 

At twenty weeks and four days pregnant, a new complication arrived my cervix was deemed incompetent. Everyone knows about my three day hosptial adventure and my emergency cerclage procedure at this point. That surgery and my doctors, saved my boys lives. My obgyn predicted without it my water would've broken in a matter of at the most two weeks, and at that point a very dangerous gestational age for my boys. The odds would not have been on their side. And now they are.

But there's another part of the story that I conveniently left out in the past. A hand full of people stayed in the loop but more happened that day. I finally feel comfortable writing about it now that we have some answers. In the midst of the panic it was also brought to our attention that John had fallen behind in growth. This would panic any parent. We spent several days in the dark unsure of what would happen as we awaited some more detailed genetic testing looking for chromosome errors concerning our smaller twins health. So when we were in the hospital I wasn't worried about myself, or preterm labor anymore I knew and trusted the doctors had taken care of that situation with my surgery. I was just worried about my Little Bit. So whilst everyone celebrated a successful operation and everything being "better now" my mind was venturing to dark places wondering if our little man was going to be okay. But it was a waiting game.

After much anxiety over a highly anticipated phone call and many happy tears we are happy to say developmentally he's totally normal. Next to being their mother there is not a single thing on this world that I have ever been more thankful for. They believe his placenta isn't functioning 100% but it's nothing life threatening. During my now every other week ultrasounds they will be monitoring both my clervix for any more labor like changes and John's growth. Both of these things will determine if and when I am off of bed rest and the boys birthday. Things over the next two months could go one of two ways, I could have no more signs of preterm labor and John's growth could spike and I could potentially get off total bed rest and resume simi-normal activities with restrictions. Though I've been prewarned that it will be up to two months before I can possibly earn some normalcy back. But if there comes a point where it seems that John would thrive better in the outside world then both boys will be born early to allow him to eat outside of me in order to gain the proper nutrients he needs.

We are taking everything week by week. Appointment by appointment. And ultrasound by ultrasound. As we learned last week one appointment can be a game changer. Mentally preparing for possible preemies and the niciu is draining and scary, but it's not the worst thing that could happen. We are blessed with two boys who are are predicted to thrive whenever it is that they join us. We also do not know how long my cervix will hold up so that also plays a big roll in this. The word August makes me cringe, but I believe we will get through that month, September is a little more settling and October 10th is still the goal. 

Ah John and Hunter, hard to get you here and difficult once you got here. My complicated order, and I would make it all over again. 

Until next time, 

Momma D 

XOXO